the $oul keeper MPF application

**OOC portion**
Steam username:The  $oul keeper
SteamID:STEAM_0:1:32445546
Ban history: (Lying here will degrade our trust with you if evidence comes forward to contradict you) None whats so ever.
Past RP experience: (All RP counts) Yes, My friends server, VG (Vortex Gaming) and lemon punch (AMAZING SERVER!)
Past CP experience: (Open Aura or other serious RP gamemodes count. DarkRP does not) Yes.
RP example: (Use commands from OA or type up a short story)
Me almsost trips over a book.
Me grabs the book from the floor
Me says "Thats odd, who would leave this here?"
Me opens the the book to see what it has.
Me says "Well, looks like birdy will have to see this."
Me walks away with the books in his hand.
RP example of arresting a citizen and then the following punishment: (It is up to you to decide the crime)
(I will set some of the citizen and Units into numbers in this RP example since i'm too lazy to make up some names.)
There is a fight happening between 2 citizens.
1189 (me) pulls the 2 citizens from their fight and yells "<:: Both of you, break it up!"
Citizen 1 yells "This guy is the one who started it!"
1189 says "<:: Both of you, to the wall, now!"
Citizen 2 Sighs but faces the wall while citizen 1 does not.
1189 says " I said to face the wall!"
citizen 1 says "Or what?"
1189 sigh with frustrations and radios in "<:: This is 1189, 10-108, sector 03 and red."
After a while 2 more MPF units appear to help 1189
the 2 MPF units force citizen 1 to face the wall and start tie both of the citizens up and check to see what they have on them.
Unit 1 says "<:: What happened here?"
1189 says "<:: Both were in a fight, I don't know the reason behind the fight but I had to break it up."
Unit 2 says "<:: What level of crime do you think we should put on both of them?
1189 pauses for a moment then says "<:: I think it would be best if its a level 2 crime."
Character backstory: (Short. No one with major combat experience, or scientists, or goverment administration skills without SA approval beforehand)
... ACCESS GRANTED ...
LOADING DATA
8% COMPLETE
23%COMPLETE
47% COMPLETE
82& COMPLETE
100%COMPLETE
UNIT DIGITS; 1189
CODE NAME; WOLF (This part i'm not sure if its allowed, if it is then ill remove it)
NAME; AARON BROWN
LOADING HISTORY...
BACKSTORY: Aaron brown was born at City 17 at 1995, He always wanted to help people that can't help them self since they don't have the strength to be able to. After the *CLASSIFIED*, Things started to change around him. After the years that have passed he has finally decided to join the combine to help those around him.
LOADING DATA...
ERROR; CLASSIFIED
SHUTTING DOWN...
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
**IC portion**
Name: Aaron Brown
Age: 25
Birth year: 1995
Past crimes:None
Loyalty Points: 0 <If you do not know, ask an MPF unit>
Citizen Status: Citizen <Citizen/UCN/UW>
Medical/Engineering experience: Yes [ ] No [X]
           If yes, which (or both) and explain:
Why do you want to join the Union?: Because, I want to help those who don't have the strength to help themselves, Because I'm just a citizen and there is nothing I can do to help them.
Any other information you wish to share?: No.
Your assigned apartment will be checked regularly. This is for your safety. Do you understand?    Yes [X]  No [  ]
You may or may not be awarded with extra benefits according to your dedication whilst on-duty. Do you understand?   Yes [X]  No [  ]
You may not reveal your identity to anyone but fellow units and family members, but only if you know you can trust them entirely. This is for your safety. Do you understand?  Yes [X]  No [  ]

Have you read character creation guidelines? Your character is too young ( https://onyxrp.forumotion.com/t19-server-and-character-creation-rules-read-me ). With that out of the way, I have a question about your character's backstory. Why is it in the format of an MPF unit accessing it? For that matter, why is it so short? Finally, why is anything at all censored in it? I'd like to see more detail put into it (or at least flesh out what you have because all I'm seeing is 'he grew up where City 17 was made and now he wants to become a member of the MPF'. What was his pre-Union life like? Is there anything worth knowing about him? Also, we'd like to know what your past CP experience is.

Your RP example is okay and your arrest example is acceptable, but work on fleshing backstory out as well as fixing the other issues I brought up.